allison (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
saltbreeze) wrote2025-05-26 03:56 am
saltbreeze) wrote2025-05-26 03:56 am
cannot sleep
ummmhavenl;t done anything good with my life
biought notebooks . started drawing for the sixtht time
notebook in mailbox for daty to day writing . pocket sized ! reding well
i like video games again , maybe too muuhc . playing with friends has helped me out
goign to gym w zorr soon but i have no motivation to count calories or do any of that cardio shit right now .
i;m fa tand i;ll akways be fat unless i change something . and i hate working . plus my body looks normal fat, i think .
its not obese fat . like .... dont feel like describing it . that's a dunb move .
watchedf a shit ton od true crime videos where they interrogate the guys . sometimes i cry i really do feel deeply
just not for like ... things in real life . i've never cried over a video game , or anything important to me. just over ... things that don;t matter. stupid videos. stupid things i think in my head. leaves no tears for when i actually need them . my mom said htat'd happen to me. i just didn;;t think sshe'd be right . i mean , tears are endless ? right ? but i guess i feel so much emotional strife and hatred towards myself and so many things every day that i guess sometimes you just really run out of feeling . it's terrible . crying when i look at the way the wind blows the leaves on a tree but not when ... anything seioyr happens . i'm funny . getting better at being less tilted. really do just need to take a break and breathe sometimes
nothing interesting . not going anywhere thihs summer. mhy father won;t allow it .
can;t go back to home ... dont understnad , i am crying over this now despire knowing this for like 6 months . see what i mean ? i
didnt cry when i found out ... only noew ; i'm a very emotionally out of tune girl. i think that is very obious
biought notebooks . started drawing for the sixtht time
notebook in mailbox for daty to day writing . pocket sized ! reding well
i like video games again , maybe too muuhc . playing with friends has helped me out
goign to gym w zorr soon but i have no motivation to count calories or do any of that cardio shit right now .
i;m fa tand i;ll akways be fat unless i change something . and i hate working . plus my body looks normal fat, i think .
its not obese fat . like .... dont feel like describing it . that's a dunb move .
watchedf a shit ton od true crime videos where they interrogate the guys . sometimes i cry i really do feel deeply
just not for like ... things in real life . i've never cried over a video game , or anything important to me. just over ... things that don;t matter. stupid videos. stupid things i think in my head. leaves no tears for when i actually need them . my mom said htat'd happen to me. i just didn;;t think sshe'd be right . i mean , tears are endless ? right ? but i guess i feel so much emotional strife and hatred towards myself and so many things every day that i guess sometimes you just really run out of feeling . it's terrible . crying when i look at the way the wind blows the leaves on a tree but not when ... anything seioyr happens . i'm funny . getting better at being less tilted. really do just need to take a break and breathe sometimes
nothing interesting . not going anywhere thihs summer. mhy father won;t allow it .
can;t go back to home ... dont understnad , i am crying over this now despire knowing this for like 6 months . see what i mean ? i
didnt cry when i found out ... only noew ; i'm a very emotionally out of tune girl. i think that is very obious