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still have to do the same academic things mentioned in the last entry . everything got delayed
big paragraph goes here that i omitted for my own sake
regardless of that particularly bleak section of my life i am desperately choosing to disregard until it's too late , things are mostly fine ..
i guess quitting (more like cutting down; not relapsing is difficult and i have certainly failed to go cold turkey) weed has improved my mood
only thing i wish that would happen to me is that things would just go back to normal !
it feels like i'm frozen in time and everyone is moving on i still want to kill myself,
and i still cry excessively and it all still hurts an insane amount .
but at least i don't cry near other people ... at least not as much as i used to ... i still totally do . insane lie .
anyways , i was thinking of deleting all social medias to get my brain back into the game ... i always say that and i never do it .
like with everything else in my life , i've been putting off my hobbies a lot , so i've made my laptop my hobby center ... and by that
i mean i've just installed restrictions that force me to read more often . amazing . still feel like killing myself
ordered lo mein and boba . arriving soon ... mom will probably beat the shit out of me
maybe this timeee i'lll be luckyyy
maybe this timeee he'll stay
maybe this timeee , for the first timeee , love won;t hurry awaaay
he will hooold me fast
big paragraph goes here that i omitted for my own sake
regardless of that particularly bleak section of my life i am desperately choosing to disregard until it's too late , things are mostly fine ..
i guess quitting (more like cutting down; not relapsing is difficult and i have certainly failed to go cold turkey) weed has improved my mood
only thing i wish that would happen to me is that things would just go back to normal !
it feels like i'm frozen in time and everyone is moving on i still want to kill myself,
and i still cry excessively and it all still hurts an insane amount .
but at least i don't cry near other people ... at least not as much as i used to ... i still totally do . insane lie .
anyways , i was thinking of deleting all social medias to get my brain back into the game ... i always say that and i never do it .
like with everything else in my life , i've been putting off my hobbies a lot , so i've made my laptop my hobby center ... and by that
i mean i've just installed restrictions that force me to read more often . amazing . still feel like killing myself
ordered lo mein and boba . arriving soon ... mom will probably beat the shit out of me
maybe this timeee i'lll be luckyyy
maybe this timeee he'll stay
maybe this timeee , for the first timeee , love won;t hurry awaaay
he will hooold me fast
i'll be hoome at last
not a loser .... anymore
like the last timee anddd the time beforee
everbuoddyyyy loves a winnaahhhhhh so nobody loved meee
lady PEACEFULL lady HAPPYYY
that's what i long to beeeeeeeeee
i really love cabaret ... sally sings this after having sex with a man and hopes it will blossom into true love
you stupid , stupid girl ! he leaves you because you aborted his child !!! god she;s just ilike me all that really matters is sex sex sex now all work is sex work all sex is is work nohting morme EVER !!!
everbuoddyyyy loves a winnaahhhhhh so nobody loved meee
lady PEACEFULL lady HAPPYYY
that's what i long to beeeeeeeeee
i really love cabaret ... sally sings this after having sex with a man and hopes it will blossom into true love
you stupid , stupid girl ! he leaves you because you aborted his child !!! god she;s just ilike me all that really matters is sex sex sex now all work is sex work all sex is is work nohting morme EVER !!!
