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if i subscribed to you ,
it's because i like to hit the random blog button and i wanna keep up with ur stuff !
don't be alarmed , haha . i find the mundane life update blogs especially charming
feel free to block or anything . no hard feelings ! curate the space you want online .
i'm a girl ... sophmore ... dating a girl ... in central tennessee
i'm from honduras though. native spanish speaker . latina and all that
not sure what else to say ...
now to figure out how to make this a sticky post ... or whatever it is
finally set up a kanban board . need to get PRODUCTIVA !
Going fin e... reading some donmquiu
books r easy but also i feel very alone . everyoone that matters to me is out of town .
i fee l very alone . i alwayus have . and thereñs not much i{ll say besifes that
ummmmm whatyever playing lfie is strrange and itñs making me upest
I HATE HATE HATE GEOMETRY . EVEN THE BASICS . HAVE TO GET OVER THIS FOR STANDARDIZED TEST PREP
mom is making me be her sercratary rand i want to die i hate secretary work it is so meaningless and easy and devoid of nay happiness
andx yet i;m really good at it
i don;y have anything to say to anyone anymore
no one in my life really thinks similarly to me adn i feel a little lost , ]
you can tell i;m a very happy girl
whatever just gotta keep on going
do your fucking laundry
i had a big paragraph about some terrible depressive thought spiral i keep on finding myself in . not very gppd to get stuck in those and i can;t tell anyone what i need or want anyway because i think it's dumb and if i can stay alive i don't really think i need any of the fufillment shit . i can be unhappy with everything as long as i have a fukll belly and a home .
trying to pray each night . it's goign fine . no it's so not . it's late and i;m scared and i feel a bir alone in the same way i feel alone everywhere i go . even honduras . bruises on the knees . reminds me of the stupid kneel on rice punishment. the things i get out of love : warm fuzzy feelings and i don;t feel like sharing the rest of this completed thought even though i thought it was f un is because people anever understand anyone . and especially not me.e and since we started mentioning love i decided it would be. agood time to REALLY get to my point . i love love and it; s so amazinf . i lofe love . i love loving i love lovee and love is great . Glad we could clear that up officer
what is the point of trying to get my thoughts out anywhere on an electronic device. this is so dumb . i own sixteen notebooks . thank uo officer sorryh
dowloaded tiktok and it made me cry gfor about four hours . or it mgiht be the whole bruised knees realization . to the journal 1 ! beuy
Going fin e... reading some donmquiu
books r easy but also i feel very alone . everyoone that matters to me is out of town .
i fee l very alone . i alwayus have . and thereñs not much i{ll say besifes that
ummmmm whatyever playing lfie is strrange and itñs making me upest
I HATE HATE HATE GEOMETRY . EVEN THE BASICS . HAVE TO GET OVER THIS FOR STANDARDIZED TEST PREP
mom is making me be her sercratary rand i want to die i hate secretary work it is so meaningless and easy and devoid of nay happiness
andx yet i;m really good at it
i don;y have anything to say to anyone anymore
no one in my life really thinks similarly to me adn i feel a little lost , ]
you can tell i;m a very happy girl
whatever just gotta keep on going
do your fucking laundry
i had a big paragraph about some terrible depressive thought spiral i keep on finding myself in . not very gppd to get stuck in those and i can;t tell anyone what i need or want anyway because i think it's dumb and if i can stay alive i don't really think i need any of the fufillment shit . i can be unhappy with everything as long as i have a fukll belly and a home .
trying to pray each night . it's goign fine . no it's so not . it's late and i;m scared and i feel a bir alone in the same way i feel alone everywhere i go . even honduras . bruises on the knees . reminds me of the stupid kneel on rice punishment. the things i get out of love : warm fuzzy feelings and i don;t feel like sharing the rest of this completed thought even though i thought it was f un is because people anever understand anyone . and especially not me.e and since we started mentioning love i decided it would be. agood time to REALLY get to my point . i love love and it; s so amazinf . i lofe love . i love loving i love lovee and love is great . Glad we could clear that up officer
what is the point of trying to get my thoughts out anywhere on an electronic device. this is so dumb . i own sixteen notebooks . thank uo officer sorryh
dowloaded tiktok and it made me cry gfor about four hours . or it mgiht be the whole bruised knees realization . to the journal 1 ! beuy
cannot sleep
May. 26th, 2025 03:56 am ummmhavenl;t done anything good with my life
biought notebooks . started drawing for the sixtht time
notebook in mailbox for daty to day writing . pocket sized ! reding well
i like video games again , maybe too muuhc . playing with friends has helped me out
goign to gym w zorr soon but i have no motivation to count calories or do any of that cardio shit right now .
i;m fa tand i;ll akways be fat unless i change something . and i hate working . plus my body looks normal fat, i think .
its not obese fat . like .... dont feel like describing it . that's a dunb move .
watchedf a shit ton od true crime videos where they interrogate the guys . sometimes i cry i really do feel deeply
just not for like ... things in real life . i've never cried over a video game , or anything important to me. just over ... things that don;t matter. stupid videos. stupid things i think in my head. leaves no tears for when i actually need them . my mom said htat'd happen to me. i just didn;;t think sshe'd be right . i mean , tears are endless ? right ? but i guess i feel so much emotional strife and hatred towards myself and so many things every day that i guess sometimes you just really run out of feeling . it's terrible . crying when i look at the way the wind blows the leaves on a tree but not when ... anything seioyr happens . i'm funny . getting better at being less tilted. really do just need to take a break and breathe sometimes
nothing interesting . not going anywhere thihs summer. mhy father won;t allow it .
can;t go back to home ... dont understnad , i am crying over this now despire knowing this for like 6 months . see what i mean ? i
didnt cry when i found out ... only noew ; i'm a very emotionally out of tune girl. i think that is very obious
biought notebooks . started drawing for the sixtht time
notebook in mailbox for daty to day writing . pocket sized ! reding well
i like video games again , maybe too muuhc . playing with friends has helped me out
goign to gym w zorr soon but i have no motivation to count calories or do any of that cardio shit right now .
i;m fa tand i;ll akways be fat unless i change something . and i hate working . plus my body looks normal fat, i think .
its not obese fat . like .... dont feel like describing it . that's a dunb move .
watchedf a shit ton od true crime videos where they interrogate the guys . sometimes i cry i really do feel deeply
just not for like ... things in real life . i've never cried over a video game , or anything important to me. just over ... things that don;t matter. stupid videos. stupid things i think in my head. leaves no tears for when i actually need them . my mom said htat'd happen to me. i just didn;;t think sshe'd be right . i mean , tears are endless ? right ? but i guess i feel so much emotional strife and hatred towards myself and so many things every day that i guess sometimes you just really run out of feeling . it's terrible . crying when i look at the way the wind blows the leaves on a tree but not when ... anything seioyr happens . i'm funny . getting better at being less tilted. really do just need to take a break and breathe sometimes
nothing interesting . not going anywhere thihs summer. mhy father won;t allow it .
can;t go back to home ... dont understnad , i am crying over this now despire knowing this for like 6 months . see what i mean ? i
didnt cry when i found out ... only noew ; i'm a very emotionally out of tune girl. i think that is very obious
I haven’t been reading enough . Trying to now
ive spent too much time on video games … I know how to read . Sex and reading is all I’m good for
im a terrible person …
my books for next year came in the mail , so I could get started on those eventually
qhat does the author say ? How does the author say it ? Why does the author say it ? All you really need to ask yourself
is why why why . How come I read so much and I still can’t understand other people ? They put me through all of those sel classes for naughhhhtttt
nithing interesting has happened . I think four days until I see my girlfriend . If she even wants to
read read read read write write write write .
ive spent too much time on video games … I know how to read . Sex and reading is all I’m good for
im a terrible person …
my books for next year came in the mail , so I could get started on those eventually
qhat does the author say ? How does the author say it ? Why does the author say it ? All you really need to ask yourself
is why why why . How come I read so much and I still can’t understand other people ? They put me through all of those sel classes for naughhhhtttt
nithing interesting has happened . I think four days until I see my girlfriend . If she even wants to
read read read read write write write write .
feel like there is a wound hemorraging in my small intestine and causing me to gurgle and spit up blood ,
yesterday marked the beginning of another horribly isolated summer , Now that i have had a proper taste for socialization
This will be terrible ..
SUMMER HOMEWORK
Read read please
rememebr planet fitness subscriptopn
pray to god to kill you in your sleep everynight . i cannot stomach this world .
But I have to live , Terrible life
Just sitting on my hands and waiting for time to pass and for my teeth to fall out .
Orthodontist appointmment tomorrow . Try not to break down lookign ar your reflection tomorrow morning
Can;t wait to neglect myself for three months !
Get weed monday
Do not end up high all summer only when going out or with girlPpoor thing is ill wish i could transplant my healthy bullish blood to her
I am not right enough for her I believe. But I do not give up so easily no matter how bad I so desperately want to
Whole live/die stay/leave evryone socialize/become. tortured thing
I am a horrific person . A Pathetic impulsive half person .
But i hve been sober for a good while . need t o keep thing s that way
yesterday marked the beginning of another horribly isolated summer , Now that i have had a proper taste for socialization
This will be terrible ..
SUMMER HOMEWORK
Read read please
rememebr planet fitness subscriptopn
pray to god to kill you in your sleep everynight . i cannot stomach this world .
But I have to live , Terrible life
Just sitting on my hands and waiting for time to pass and for my teeth to fall out .
Orthodontist appointmment tomorrow . Try not to break down lookign ar your reflection tomorrow morning
Can;t wait to neglect myself for three months !
Get weed monday
Do not end up high all summer only when going out or with girlPpoor thing is ill wish i could transplant my healthy bullish blood to her
I am not right enough for her I believe. But I do not give up so easily no matter how bad I so desperately want to
Whole live/die stay/leave evryone socialize/become. tortured thing
I am a horrific person . A Pathetic impulsive half person .
But i hve been sober for a good while . need t o keep thing s that way
kind of get it now ... yeah i have to work hard yeah i have to live and i can;t smoke marijuana w henever i want .
boring to do for tomorrow
there is a pervasive feeling throuthout my heart . . . . . when does it feel good ?
studyinf isn;t bad '+ i can keep up this week in general
all will be found within you ; breathe explore
cut down
study + figure out wat 2 eat maub target uber
shower @ fiv
study + plan inbetween you have hw
huuuuu ........................................................
hurtts gningni bearing the worl dand facing it.
how can i better my work ethic ?
how cn i be pleased with what i hace ? budgeting ?
go clean man .... don;y weekend binge . this is it
read god freak //......//
boring to do for tomorrow
there is a pervasive feeling throuthout my heart . . . . . when does it feel good ?
studyinf isn;t bad '+ i can keep up this week in general
all will be found within you ; breathe explore
cut down
study + figure out wat 2 eat maub target uber
shower @ fiv
study + plan inbetween you have hw
huuuuu ........................................................
hurtts gningni bearing the worl dand facing it.
how can i better my work ethic ?
how cn i be pleased with what i hace ? budgeting ?
go clean man .... don;y weekend binge . this is it
read god freak //......//
INVESTMENT ACCOUNT OPEN AND CHEMISTRY LAB DONE !
i also have to schedule two retakes for math test s uuu but i feel okay ! i can do it ... will schedule tomorrow
just glad i got the test corrections done in the first place honestly
reading up on stocks .. passive investment look into s&p 500 whatavaaaaaa
stocks are fucking expeensnvienvee what tha helllll
this it what it means to be on the same level as everybody else i suppose ...
but i have a good feeling about this .... i won't be like my bum brotherobsessed with losiing money on
sports parlays and my bum father putting money into a dead agricultural third world economy and
always hoppign and skipping to the casino !
hmmm anyways
i should probably do a few practice problems for the quarter retake
tomorrow morning ... + get kamola to teach me how to rotate shapes tomorrow during tutoring
i'm pretty hard headed .. she drills one math concept into me like intergers and then i forget two plus two is four . really happened !
well one of them was negative and we were multiplying so it tripped me up .... what can i doooo ?! i'm low iq
honestly i've just remembered that i actually am a very quick reader and i need to abuse that ...
MORE MORE BOOKS ! MORE MORE READING !
i don't think i can ever have a healthy relationship with weed . it's either dependent or straight edge ....
it's really okay though . shit kills you and makes you dumb anyways—there's never any winning with drugs allison ...
honestly my weird coughing fits have made me paranoiiiisddd about vaping or whatever regardless
need to buy more kinky curly gel + leave in still ...
and ummm chicken ..... and maybe like /.... no idea . a container to pack a lunch in ?
counting calories went bad today . not discouraged though . will just try again tomorrow
i also spent a lot of money today ... that DOES discourage me ... but all i can do is work and wait
so i cannot lose sight of my goals
applied to this weird student commitee thing cause the guy that runs it said he wanted me on it one time
might as well try , right ? what's the worst that could happen ? they reject me ?! no way !!
plowed through to genesis 4 yesterday and i'm about like ... almost done with my novel . kindle says only an hour and thirteen
minutes of reading to finish it .. pretty proud of myself ! no idea what i'll read next .. something a little more poetic in word
choice ... and something short ! not poetry though ... i read a lot of that before i got super depressed so i'm taking a little
breather from that ... prose is callling me ...
honestly no idea why this is one of the few movies that i actually paid attention to . might be the fact that
i deleted social media and i've just felt better lately
current state of affairs
Mar. 4th, 2025 08:31 pmi need to create a proper schedule/system and routine for these things ... i often forget to brush my teeth at night which i feel says lots about me
quite humiliating . i'll begin this in my notes app or something. workout/study routine ... maybe i could schedule my freetime after school ?
seems smart ! god aren't i a genius ?!?!
i have to remember that i have to work ten times harder than everyone else to be the same level they are , and then a hundred times harder to be better ! even just a little better … stupid fucking magnet school stupid fucking white people with PRE-MADE NETWORKS AT BIRTH
i feel like i was born in the mud and i am yet to crawl out ... it must be time soon
i feel pretty okay about chemistry .just need to figure out how to balance and do the p1v1t1=p2v2t2 thing ...
cause i can't cross multiply for SHIT .had a math test and no idea how i did .... going to take a retake that i feel good about !
my grades in both of the classes are terrible though ... i feel ill it's almost the end of the quarter .... i'm fucked
still have the second one but i don't feel too great about it considering it'll be exam season ...
things to focus on current;y
reached out got a little help not much is really happening though ... spring break is coming up so i could probably
add something to my aweomse list of things .s.........
i want to buy an 86 dollar flip phone ... a 130 dollar camera lens .... more clothes ... but we can worry about that lataarrrrr
i'm running low on hair gel and i want to buy a mousse ... also i need to grocery shop this weekend for my protein foods
i do not allow myself to talk about my current or past romantic relationship(s) on this blog anymore
because i am not allowing myself to have opinions on them because all that ever does is hurt whoever i'm with
because i fucking SUCK !!!
anyways i'm fine mentally ... yes i get a little upset whenever i think about this one section of my life i don't feel all that great about
but there is nothing i can really do about it so i kind of just have to suck it up and say i love it !
i have felt like renouncing humanity completely lately ... but that's how you end up friendless and alone ...
but that's probably for the best . redacted redacted redacted
all of the bad stuff that happened to me never really got fixed or anything
nothing i can do about it now
quite humiliating . i'll begin this in my notes app or something. workout/study routine ... maybe i could schedule my freetime after school ?
seems smart ! god aren't i a genius ?!?!
i have to remember that i have to work ten times harder than everyone else to be the same level they are , and then a hundred times harder to be better ! even just a little better … stupid fucking magnet school stupid fucking white people with PRE-MADE NETWORKS AT BIRTH
i feel like i was born in the mud and i am yet to crawl out ... it must be time soon
i feel pretty okay about chemistry .just need to figure out how to balance and do the p1v1t1=p2v2t2 thing ...
cause i can't cross multiply for SHIT .had a math test and no idea how i did .... going to take a retake that i feel good about !
my grades in both of the classes are terrible though ... i feel ill it's almost the end of the quarter .... i'm fucked
still have the second one but i don't feel too great about it considering it'll be exam season ...
things to focus on current;y
- reading ! doing pretty okay . plowing through this old novel i was reading a while ago and had dropped .. girlfriend said "still ?" when i told her what i was reading and my heart sunk a little . it's been doing that a bit more lately
- reading BIBLE be CATHOLIC GIRL !
- caloric deficit .. now that i'm off weed it's a lot easier . felt like i did okay today ? i think i'm around 1600 for today so i should cut myself off
- studies ... i feel okay currently ... studying to get ahead and working on future assignments wouldn't hurt though
- investing ! came up the idea of a custiodial account today ... going to set up tomorrow
- summer intership . still haven't talked about it to my mother ... only god knows DO BEFORE APRIL 15TH
reached out got a little help not much is really happening though ... spring break is coming up so i could probably
add something to my aweomse list of things .s.........
i want to buy an 86 dollar flip phone ... a 130 dollar camera lens .... more clothes ... but we can worry about that lataarrrrr
i'm running low on hair gel and i want to buy a mousse ... also i need to grocery shop this weekend for my protein foods
i do not allow myself to talk about my current or past romantic relationship(s) on this blog anymore
because i am not allowing myself to have opinions on them because all that ever does is hurt whoever i'm with
because i fucking SUCK !!!
anyways i'm fine mentally ... yes i get a little upset whenever i think about this one section of my life i don't feel all that great about
but there is nothing i can really do about it so i kind of just have to suck it up and say i love it !
i have felt like renouncing humanity completely lately ... but that's how you end up friendless and alone ...
but that's probably for the best . redacted redacted redacted
all of the bad stuff that happened to me never really got fixed or anything
nothing i can do about it now
still have to do the same academic things mentioned in the last entry . everything got delayed
big paragraph goes here that i omitted for my own sake
regardless of that particularly bleak section of my life i am desperately choosing to disregard until it's too late , things are mostly fine ..
i guess quitting (more like cutting down; not relapsing is difficult and i have certainly failed to go cold turkey) weed has improved my mood
only thing i wish that would happen to me is that things would just go back to normal !
it feels like i'm frozen in time and everyone is moving on i still want to kill myself,
and i still cry excessively and it all still hurts an insane amount .
but at least i don't cry near other people ... at least not as much as i used to ... i still totally do . insane lie .
anyways , i was thinking of deleting all social medias to get my brain back into the game ... i always say that and i never do it .
like with everything else in my life , i've been putting off my hobbies a lot , so i've made my laptop my hobby center ... and by that
i mean i've just installed restrictions that force me to read more often . amazing . still feel like killing myself
ordered lo mein and boba . arriving soon ... mom will probably beat the shit out of me
maybe this timeee i'lll be luckyyy
maybe this timeee he'll stay
maybe this timeee , for the first timeee , love won;t hurry awaaay
he will hooold me fast
big paragraph goes here that i omitted for my own sake
regardless of that particularly bleak section of my life i am desperately choosing to disregard until it's too late , things are mostly fine ..
i guess quitting (more like cutting down; not relapsing is difficult and i have certainly failed to go cold turkey) weed has improved my mood
only thing i wish that would happen to me is that things would just go back to normal !
it feels like i'm frozen in time and everyone is moving on i still want to kill myself,
and i still cry excessively and it all still hurts an insane amount .
but at least i don't cry near other people ... at least not as much as i used to ... i still totally do . insane lie .
anyways , i was thinking of deleting all social medias to get my brain back into the game ... i always say that and i never do it .
like with everything else in my life , i've been putting off my hobbies a lot , so i've made my laptop my hobby center ... and by that
i mean i've just installed restrictions that force me to read more often . amazing . still feel like killing myself
ordered lo mein and boba . arriving soon ... mom will probably beat the shit out of me
maybe this timeee i'lll be luckyyy
maybe this timeee he'll stay
maybe this timeee , for the first timeee , love won;t hurry awaaay
he will hooold me fast
i'll be hoome at last
not a loser .... anymore
like the last timee anddd the time beforee
everbuoddyyyy loves a winnaahhhhhh so nobody loved meee
lady PEACEFULL lady HAPPYYY
that's what i long to beeeeeeeeee
i really love cabaret ... sally sings this after having sex with a man and hopes it will blossom into true love
you stupid , stupid girl ! he leaves you because you aborted his child !!! god she;s just ilike me all that really matters is sex sex sex now all work is sex work all sex is is work nohting morme EVER !!!
everbuoddyyyy loves a winnaahhhhhh so nobody loved meee
lady PEACEFULL lady HAPPYYY
that's what i long to beeeeeeeeee
i really love cabaret ... sally sings this after having sex with a man and hopes it will blossom into true love
you stupid , stupid girl ! he leaves you because you aborted his child !!! god she;s just ilike me all that really matters is sex sex sex now all work is sex work all sex is is work nohting morme EVER !!!
hashtag geeked up
Feb. 19th, 2025 12:51 pmneed to finish my sac application and stop being fat ...
and world unit notes 2.21 .... and finish spanish project . BEFORE TOMORROW ....
that's it for actual assignments ...
i also have to study rotations .... no stupid functipn rules like actual geometric visual rotations ....
UGH ! and i need to seriously quit weed . i'm sure i'll feel better .. most of my weed things are in the trashc can ... just have to take it out
it's obvious ... family has noticed , i think , atleast my brother ... couldn't tell if i heard him say something about it last night but either way i should.
not that much to do today ! let's workkkkkk itttt
and world unit notes 2.21 .... and finish spanish project . BEFORE TOMORROW ....
that's it for actual assignments ...
i also have to study rotations .... no stupid functipn rules like actual geometric visual rotations ....
UGH ! and i need to seriously quit weed . i'm sure i'll feel better .. most of my weed things are in the trashc can ... just have to take it out
it's obvious ... family has noticed , i think , atleast my brother ... couldn't tell if i heard him say something about it last night but either way i should.
not that much to do today ! let's workkkkkk itttt
ERM ... hey guys
Jan. 10th, 2025 03:10 pm oKAY GUYS
sooooo basically
my life is ok i gurss whaetever
( it;s not 4)
i weigh ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY POUNDS and i nervously twirled my hair so much it began to fall out
because all i do is WORRY
and i hope i die and it's snowing outside . i should start postng here agian
umm i want to order weed
i honestly should
White girls scare me really bad like i knw
you would rather not be witha fat ass latina over a skinny white girl
why're you here
sooooo basically
my life is ok i gurss whaetever
( it;s not 4)
i weigh ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY POUNDS and i nervously twirled my hair so much it began to fall out
because all i do is WORRY
and i hope i die and it's snowing outside . i should start postng here agian
umm i want to order weed
i honestly should
White girls scare me really bad like i knw
you would rather not be witha fat ass latina over a skinny white girl
why're you here
things are goi ng to get better , i jsut have to liek try harder
gained logts of weight . increased cal limit because i was restrictiing too much .., i'm not a skinny whitge gitl with anorexia ...
girlkfriend nice . girlfriend amazing . keep on googling how is girlfriende so preetty like i'm on valium or something ...
delta nine is amazing ...... thc ... waaaah .........
i always listrne to snail lmail while i'm blasteeeedd ... having fun . going to try mt hardest tomorrow
ganbatte ! ( i ;m so cringe and i hope i get a job)
did naruto even say that .. probably . sorry for distressing the wife in the past . i feel terrible . paying more eattention now , , , i
i loooove that girl ,.....
edit l'mn so disoriented satrted typing my name into google in order to open youtube and listen to unrealeased snail mailk
gained logts of weight . increased cal limit because i was restrictiing too much .., i'm not a skinny whitge gitl with anorexia ...
girlkfriend nice . girlfriend amazing . keep on googling how is girlfriende so preetty like i'm on valium or something ...
delta nine is amazing ...... thc ... waaaah .........
i always listrne to snail lmail while i'm blasteeeedd ... having fun . going to try mt hardest tomorrow
ganbatte ! ( i ;m so cringe and i hope i get a job)
did naruto even say that .. probably . sorry for distressing the wife in the past . i feel terrible . paying more eattention now , , , i
i loooove that girl ,.....
edit l'mn so disoriented satrted typing my name into google in order to open youtube and listen to unrealeased snail mailk
things got a lot worse , and then they got a lot better
i think
started going to church again and i bleached my hair last night .
anyways , enough with that ... list time !
get physical - print the form too
reschedule ortho appointment
study a little bit before fall break ends
study more in generalll
BUY HELLO KITTY UNDERWEAR
uummmm there are a few people i want to be friends with , but i dont think i'll make an attempt to
buy more keychains for carabiner
only abuse adderall for a super bbig test or project
START AP WORLD PROJECT THIS WEEK .
yay !
i think
started going to church again and i bleached my hair last night .
anyways , enough with that ... list time !
get physical - print the form too
reschedule ortho appointment
study a little bit before fall break ends
study more in generalll
BUY HELLO KITTY UNDERWEAR
uummmm there are a few people i want to be friends with , but i dont think i'll make an attempt to
buy more keychains for carabiner
only abuse adderall for a super bbig test or project
START AP WORLD PROJECT THIS WEEK .
yay !
i burnt my tongue just now
Sep. 4th, 2024 02:04 ami cannot sleep tonight , and i have nothing better to do other than
lament about current affairs . life has been one big downwards
slope. i have lots to do . lots to get over .
i am having raspberry leaf tea to put me to sleep
alongside four mg of melatonin
i would take benadryl but i feel as if
that'll kill me in the long run
my room is uncomfortably hot
and the tea is just making me feel warmer
how come so much is happening to me ?
i have been careless and loud
i'd like to not be . i'd like to go home
and read a book .
things have been difficult
home , school , social
everything is askew
and i am tripping over myself
were things better when i was all alone ?
the answer is a resounding yes
lament about current affairs . life has been one big downwards
slope. i have lots to do . lots to get over .
i am having raspberry leaf tea to put me to sleep
alongside four mg of melatonin
i would take benadryl but i feel as if
that'll kill me in the long run
my room is uncomfortably hot
and the tea is just making me feel warmer
how come so much is happening to me ?
i have been careless and loud
i'd like to not be . i'd like to go home
and read a book .
things have been difficult
home , school , social
everything is askew
and i am tripping over myself
were things better when i was all alone ?
the answer is a resounding yes
i hateeee ittttt
i hate hate hate everything that happened today
i hate everyone
i guess it's over but
still hate it though
that's humiliating .
i don't really like anyone anymore
but i have to act like i do
i thought weed would shift me into a better headspace
but it never does ... i have a sativa dispo coming tomorrow
tried the nongshim udon cup noodles
it was really good .. i liked it
my girlfriend sent me a very good photo of us she took today
i look very cool in it
und meine frau ist sehr schon guys
DAS IST EINE CHIIKAWAEN FIGURINENENE
heading to dmv tomorrow
halfway done with spanish work !
i don't think i'll get into media team . i've already
been in trouble with the administrator for it a bunch of times.
whatever . the only other photography opportunity i had is gone now too
due to unfortunate circumstances that i cried about
i cried about a lot today
and taking photos for the sga just feels like i'm being used for free labor
i hate hate hate everything that happened today
i hate everyone
i guess it's over but
still hate it though
that's humiliating .
i don't really like anyone anymore
but i have to act like i do
i thought weed would shift me into a better headspace
but it never does ... i have a sativa dispo coming tomorrow
tried the nongshim udon cup noodles
it was really good .. i liked it
my girlfriend sent me a very good photo of us she took today
i look very cool in it
und meine frau ist sehr schon guys
DAS IST EINE CHIIKAWAEN FIGURINENENE
heading to dmv tomorrow
halfway done with spanish work !
i don't think i'll get into media team . i've already
been in trouble with the administrator for it a bunch of times.
whatever . the only other photography opportunity i had is gone now too
due to unfortunate circumstances that i cried about
i cried about a lot today
and taking photos for the sga just feels like i'm being used for free labor
i think i have a cough or something . thought it was from smoking too much but the
feeling continues ... it's terrible . i sound gruff when i speak . singing is fine though
had udon noodles for lunch today . should probably eat them cold , but if i put
an ice pack in my bag the condensation will ruin my electronics .
i never really cared about if food was hot or cold
bought some
ice cream at the store today . probably going to eat it tonight while bawling my
eyes out . it’s strawberry !
cooked momofuku noodles today . they’re spicy . i can handle them but i’ll need
a bit of water … hoping my girlfriend doesn’t laugh watching me eat them
i want something new , something palpable
too bad i don’t get things that are real . it is too bad
i have to stay stuck in my mind while everyone else is in reality
i want something observable , something i can do furtively
but i can’t . people pay too much attention to me and i hate it
most days i feel monolithic . i feel like i’m building this monument
i want to be transient . i want to be a passerby in everyone else’s lives
but i can’t stop building this monument
IT’S JUST LIKE THE TEEN SUICIDE SONG !! 🤓👆
your derisions are like stones pelted unto my spine
i've discovered i'm really embarrassing
i hate when people talk about me . i hate people knowing what i want to do
i hate people . i hate being a person .
it all ends up the same
i tell someone something it goes wrong
and i think like two people hate my guts right now
alto section leader said she liked my pants today . i was a little happy
girlfriend was handsy today in second period . #awesome
feeling continues ... it's terrible . i sound gruff when i speak . singing is fine though
had udon noodles for lunch today . should probably eat them cold , but if i put
an ice pack in my bag the condensation will ruin my electronics .
i never really cared about if food was hot or cold
bought some
ice cream at the store today . probably going to eat it tonight while bawling my
eyes out . it’s strawberry !
cooked momofuku noodles today . they’re spicy . i can handle them but i’ll need
a bit of water … hoping my girlfriend doesn’t laugh watching me eat them
i want something new , something palpable
too bad i don’t get things that are real . it is too bad
i have to stay stuck in my mind while everyone else is in reality
i want something observable , something i can do furtively
but i can’t . people pay too much attention to me and i hate it
most days i feel monolithic . i feel like i’m building this monument
i want to be transient . i want to be a passerby in everyone else’s lives
but i can’t stop building this monument
IT’S JUST LIKE THE TEEN SUICIDE SONG !! 🤓👆
your derisions are like stones pelted unto my spine
i've discovered i'm really embarrassing
i hate when people talk about me . i hate people knowing what i want to do
i hate people . i hate being a person .
it all ends up the same
i tell someone something it goes wrong
and i think like two people hate my guts right now
alto section leader said she liked my pants today . i was a little happy
girlfriend was handsy today in second period . #awesome
MY LIFE IS GREAT
weird white dude who i have come to believe is an angel from god
spoke to me at the boba bar about my future yesterday ! so mysterious
it was fun . i was going to become a recluse but i do like talking to strangers
fuck my peers ! let's talk to thirty year olds
okay work i need to do below
code and put together portfolio before the nineteenth
get a physical and begin wrestling training
finish spanish summer homework this weekend (quiz on friday)
world videos due monday + i should work on the vocabulary notes
chem due monday + quiz on friday
go to dmv on monday
english work due monday
i'll likely have a lot more to do by the end of today like
math homework and more chemistry .... aggh ! i never update this early
weird white dude who i have come to believe is an angel from god
spoke to me at the boba bar about my future yesterday ! so mysterious
it was fun . i was going to become a recluse but i do like talking to strangers
fuck my peers ! let's talk to thirty year olds
okay work i need to do below
code and put together portfolio before the nineteenth
get a physical and begin wrestling training
finish spanish summer homework this weekend (quiz on friday)
world videos due monday + i should work on the vocabulary notes
chem due monday + quiz on friday
go to dmv on monday
english work due monday
i'll likely have a lot more to do by the end of today like
math homework and more chemistry .... aggh ! i never update this early
saw a huge billboard for a gun show
i'd love to go , but i never get to go anywhere
today was crazy . time and time again
i am grabbed by the scruff and
forced to stick my face in the human
experience right when i feel like renouncing it
declining more plans ... no i don't want to go to your house .
even if i could i wouldn't
everyone is really , really annoying .
have to recode my entire photography portfolio by the nineteenth
and edit photos that i took today by TONIGHT . for a stupid fucking
ice cream social . never volunteering for that shit again
i want to buy a new camera , but the one i had my eyes
on costs around two thousand , so i figured it was better
to just forget it . i really need to stop talking to people entirely
nothing good has come out of it recently
i'd love to go , but i never get to go anywhere
today was crazy . time and time again
i am grabbed by the scruff and
forced to stick my face in the human
experience right when i feel like renouncing it
declining more plans ... no i don't want to go to your house .
even if i could i wouldn't
everyone is really , really annoying .
have to recode my entire photography portfolio by the nineteenth
and edit photos that i took today by TONIGHT . for a stupid fucking
ice cream social . never volunteering for that shit again
i want to buy a new camera , but the one i had my eyes
on costs around two thousand , so i figured it was better
to just forget it . i really need to stop talking to people entirely
nothing good has come out of it recently
ran into chiikawa girl TWICE today . must be a good omen
don't know if i'm allowed to hang out with her . still too nervous to message her on instagram
i start teacher aid tomorrow . fun !
ninety percent sure all my problems are
resolved now
except the whole detached thing
i still don't get it
i need fourty dollars ... for something .
it's very important .
i want to message chiikawa girl so bad
but i can't bring myself to do it
she's so timid ! no idea if we'd get along
i don't really
talk much about anything that i like
no one likes what i like
don't know if i'm allowed to hang out with her . still too nervous to message her on instagram
i start teacher aid tomorrow . fun !
ninety percent sure all my problems are
resolved now
except the whole detached thing
i still don't get it
i need fourty dollars ... for something .
it's very important .
i want to message chiikawa girl so bad
but i can't bring myself to do it
she's so timid ! no idea if we'd get along
i don't really
talk much about anything that i like
no one likes what i like
