saltbreeze | All palpable forms of life have failed me.

i think i have a cough or something . thought it was from smoking too much but the
feeling continues ... it's terrible . i sound gruff when i speak . singing is fine though

had udon noodles for lunch today . should probably eat them cold , but if i put
an ice pack in my bag the condensation will ruin my electronics .
i never really cared about if food was hot or cold
bought some
ice cream at the store today . probably going to eat it tonight while bawling my
eyes out . it’s strawberry !
cooked momofuku noodles today . they’re spicy . i can handle them but i’ll need
a bit of water … hoping my girlfriend doesn’t laugh watching me eat them

i want something new , something palpable
too bad i don’t get things that are real . it is too bad
i have to stay stuck in my mind while everyone else is in reality
i want something observable , something i can do furtively
but i can’t . people pay too much attention to me and i hate it
most days i feel monolithic . i feel like i’m building this monument
i want to be transient . i want to be a passerby in everyone else’s lives
but i can’t stop building this monument
IT’S JUST LIKE THE TEEN SUICIDE SONG !! 🤓👆

your derisions are like stones pelted unto my spine

i've discovered i'm really embarrassing
i hate when people talk about me . i hate people knowing what i want to do
i hate people . i hate being a person .
it all ends up the same
i tell someone something it goes wrong
and i think like two people hate my guts right now

alto section leader said she liked my pants today . i was a little happy
girlfriend was handsy today in second period . #awesome